ajkdslk:

I live about an hour and a half from NYC and I love reading this site it’s pretty funny.

so here are my latest favorites,

Mom, loudly: Who does mommy love?
Screaming toddler, holding cup in stroller: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Mommy loves the baby! And who’s the baby?
Child: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Are you the baby?
(child starts crying)
Mom: Oh, stop that! You’re old enough to drink a latte, so quit crying.

—183rd St & Ft. Washington Ave

Woman #1: Have you ever heard of Feng Shui?
Woman #2: I’ve heard of him but haven’t heard him.

—55th St & Ave of the Stars

NYU girl #1: You guys, I had a dream that I was pregnant.
NYU girl #2: So did Mary.

—NYU Dorm

College girl #1: What do you think their core curriculum is like at Julliard?
College girl #2: Dance math!
College girl #3: Yeah, nothing goes above the number 8.

—Corner Cafe, Chelsea

Pissed-off girl, fighting with friend: You outer-borough trash!
(10 minutes later)
Friend: Why did you even call her that?
Pissed-off girl: That’s what she is!
Friend: But you’re from Staten Island!

—Karaoke Duet 35

Mets fan, yelling at opposing team’s right fielder: Don’t you look at me, number 47! I’ll eat your eyeballs!

—Citifield

Really angry guy on cell: I’m talkin’ about mothafuckin’ cookies and apple juice!

—23rd & 6th

Thugette to boyfriend: You don’t have to go to Vegas to get a hooker, honey, you can just go to Atlantic City.

—Staten Island Ferry

Scruffy guy: Do cockroaches need oxygen?
Chick: Um… what?
Scruffy guy: Do cockroaches need oxygen?
Chick: I have no idea.
Scruffy guy: Cause I was thinking, if they do, maybe that’s why we never see them in this elevator, where there is no oxygen.

—W 151st St & Broadway

Adolescent mother to four-year-old daughter: Look at your sexy legs… you got a sexy body.
(10 minutes later)
Adolescent mother to four-year-old daughter: You gonna fall and crack ya fuckin head open.

—LIRR

Theater student #1: So it’s really good, cause I’m gonna get to play a rapist!
Theater student #2: Oh man, really?
Theater student #1: Yeah! I’ll get to rape someone… Or try, I think… Which I’ve never done before.
Theater student #2: Dude, you’re so lucky.

—NYU

http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/